Epiphany and Surprise in Grief Release

Today, January 6^th is Epiphany. It is the day in the Christian tradition that

commemorates the visit of the three kings to the Infant Jesus.  The Magi according to

the story, had followed a star until it stopped over the place where the child lay.

I wonder if they were “surprised” to happen upon this scene, a stable? Were they

expecting something else?

I remember the stunning epiphany of the word ‘surprise” while being “the Client”

for a “practice” session of Rubenfeld Synergy during my four-year training. The

place was Scottsdale, AZ in the home of the now professional Synergist, Kim Evans.

It hardly looked like a stable, this gorgeous home in the desert. But ‘stable’ it was for

the release of unrecognized grief frozen in my body some four years earlier.

Lying on my back on a padded table, eyes closed, intending to deeply relax and

be fully present to the method of Rubenfled Synergy, Melissa Shreck, places her

hands on either side of my head in ”First Touch”.

“What are you noticing?” she softly inquires.

“Surprise. The surprise of my thirty-ninth birthday party!” I exclaim, intrigued

by the image that has appeared in my head of it’s own volition.

 “Surprise” she repeats allowing me to hear, feel and deepen my experience in the

present moment.

“Surprise” I wail as the image of arriving home to the flashing lights of emergency

vehicles burst into my awareness. The image expands to include my eldest son,

Vincent, bouncing up and down on the frozen driveway in his bare feet, arms

flapping like a bird desperately trying to leave the scene, while my son, Reed, bloody

face draped, is wheeled away on a gurney.

 Sobs shake my body as the “thawing” of this unconscious, frozen grief begins.

Completely surprised by this intense embodied grief, the shock now

being released reverberates throughout my entire body. Melissa stays present, her

hands never leaving me. Our supervisor, Maddie McDougal, piles blankets on my

now freezing body. The image  in my mind’s-eye is that of a frozen tundra. I

have no words only the anguished tears of grief.  Cared for, held, protected and

supported, they are not frightened by this grief.

At last the tears subside, my breath becomes even once again and my eyes open as the epiphany “I never knew I held this grief after all the tears I have shed” reveals itself.

Now as a Grief Guide, I empower clients to release their grief with  this safe, deep

method and discover the epiphanies of their body.

Sitting quietly this day, notice your breath. With your feet touching the floor or

knees bent as you lie on your back, allow yourself to say aloud the word “surprise”.

What happens? 

What star leads you?

What epiphany reveals itself to you?