My Dear Community,
How do you get through the journey of grief? As I’ve shared many times, healing is a three-phased process: Raw Greif, Fragile Grief, and Gentle Grief.
During my long grief journey, I’ve learned that the body tells the truth. It reveals where trauma is lodged so you can recognize, relate, and release. That’s how I’ve been able to go from Raw Greif to Gentle Greif.
Recently, Professor Stanley Krippner asked if he could detail parts of my journey in his new book on suicide.
You’re getting a partial sneak peek of what I submitted to him. Let me know your thoughts.
The Body Tells the Truth
When thrust into the state of Raw Grief because of death by suicide, the ground beneath us shatters. The suicide survivor struggles to right their world turned upside down. Others, also devastated by this loss, join them for a while. Gradually, those others return to work and their lives, caring for their own family.
They’re not tortured by the “if only” and “why” that loops around in the minds of those most demolished by this death.
Raw Greif and the Mean Mind
Georgena was one of those with a ‘mean mind’. The critical, perfectionistic mind that relentlessly sets the bar so high that nothing is ever good enough. The ‘list’ is never done. The real-world falls short of what one imagines.
Reed too had been so critical of himself in the end. He was much harder on himself than anyone else. Four months after his death, Georgena realized that Reed had never failed publicly. She knew that this suspension from school and banishment from the basketball team were a gateway for growth.
Unfortunately, Reed did not see his failure as a step to growth. For the first time in his life, he had ‘lost face’. Instead of asking for help, he took himself out of the game of life permanently. He literally lost face.
Georgena became aware that “being too hard on yourself can kill ya’”. She knew those around her could not have her die. She knew that the only way through grief was to go in. Into grief – to uncover her false beliefs and into her body.
The Rubenfeld Synergy Method: A Startin Point
The Rubenfeld Synergy Method ® allowed Georgena to access her body’s guidance. She could begin moving out of her constantly confused and critical mind.
Georgena would simply lie on the table while the Synergist asked, “Where are you connecting to the table?” She began noticing one hip or shoulder felt ‘up in the air’. This was the perfect metaphor for her life.
At times her left shoulder, later dubbed her ’Grief Shoulder’, would burst into a flame of pain the minute it contacted the table. With the Synergist’s hands creating a protective ‘cup’ of listening touch, Georgena was able to relate to the pain in her shoulder.
Georgena began experiencing the recognizing, relating, and releasing phenomenon. First recognizing the pain. Then relating to the aches, pains, and sensations. Finally, releasing the pain.
Sometimes she would see images that could be ’felt’ in her body. Once she imagined a rock wall split in two, release the shoulder pain, and then became a beautiful, soothing waterfall. She felt revitalized. Her body, mind, emotions, and spirit became regenerated in real-time.
Georgena discovered her own system of moving through grief:
- Recognize, relate to, and release grief to experience revitalization and regeneration.
After a while, Georgena learned to show up for a Synergy session and let go without “trying to figure things out”. She became willing, open, and curious. She discovered, allowed, accepted, and received the gifts of this powerful body-mind process. Her frontal lobe quieted, and her limbic brain became activated. As her awareness and intuition increased, she began to access what Jung calls “The Collective Unconscious”.
Georgena’s personal Synergy session with Ilana revealed a palpable anchor in Georgena’s body. As Ilana cupped her hands around Georgena’s right knee she asked, “What are you noticing?” Clouds filled the chalkboard of Georgena’s mind. Her breathing changed.
Ilana, guided by this cue, simply stated, “Tell me more.” Georgena went on to describe the clouds parting and a gorgeous purple mountain with a granite base emerged. She felt she was on solid ground for the first time in 10 months.
Where had this empowering image come from? Arising from the Synergy table, Georgena sensed her life becoming anchored in the phrase “I am beautiful.” Four years later, after moving from Nebraska to Oregon, she recognized this sacred image as Mt. Hood.
Georgena now shares the benefits of the Rubenfeld Synergy Method ®with her clients:
Even when your mind lies and jerks you around, the body tells the Truth.
The sensations, aches, and pains in your body are a call to listen and learn from the metaphors in your body- Who or What is that pain in your neck?
Experience the images, colors, sounds, and messages as guidance.
You can’t fail. You can’t make things up. You are accessing the Infinite that’s always there to support you.
Touch is a powerful means of recognizing, relating to, and releasing emotions.
Shift happens in the present moment.
Humor gives us psychological air. Just like a dolphin we come up to the surface and then dive deep back into our emotions.
So how are you relating to your body and its messages today?
It is telling you the Truth? Listen.
Go to www.rubenfeld synergy.com to find out why it works.
Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,