I was so relieved I cried when Kamala Harris acknowledged, “We are all in grief.” Grief for a lost year.
YES!! Shift is happening! And I believe the grief phobia of the United States of America is shifting.
Grief as anxiety, loneliness, and disappointment.
I start each day with an inspiring phone call with a dear friend in Florida. Last week I could hear the despair in my friend’s voice. She was tender and crying at the drop of a hat. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“It’s grief. This isn’t how you planned to live this summer.”
She sent this reply, identifying her grief over a lost year:
Our conversation meant the world to me last Wednesday. I’ve worked this week to express the grief I’m feeling. In a way, it seems trivial, as I sit here in a beautiful apartment, in a position of privilege. But it’s real to me. I’m mourning the personal loss of an entire year.
As we age, Keith and I are aware that our years of health and opportunity are limited. My dad used to say, “Do things while you can.” And we have lost a year of “doing things”.
We can’t travel. And we usually spend the summer in Ireland.
We can’t see our grandchildren. Much less give them hugs. The oldest, soon to be 13, might not be as receptive to hugs as he was at 12.
We miss our friends. We often host gatherings here. But now we’re limited to a very few people.
We have a new baby in our midst, but we can’t see her, cook dinner for her mommies, or give her welcome-to-the-world hugs.
None of the above can or will happen now. It is grief for a lost year. Real. Intense. And I also know from past experience, that right now the grief is sharp, but it will become dull — over time. I just wish there was more time.
I’m grieving a year. Lost to us all forever.
So, do you relate to what my friend shared? Share your thoughts?
Send me your reply. Tell me about your grief over this lost year. Even if you’ve previously shared the same grief. It’s ok to say it again. Perhaps it’s your sadness that your beautiful son is gone, your lovely wife died, you have lost your heart for your work. Or something completely different.
I’m here. Open to listening and receiving your woe and your wisdom.
Wondering if you’re feeling the effects of subtle grief?
See this recent article: How to Recognize and Identify Subtle Grief
Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,