How to Stay Grounded While Helping Others in Pain

My Dear Community,

We’re surrounded by people feeling deep pain, trapped in a pit of hopelessness. They may even be contemplating suicide. How can we stay grounded while helping others get out of despair?

Many of you are empathic people like me. When we walk into a room we’re drawn to those hurting. We take on their pain. Our body begins to hurt. Our energy drains away. We begin to feel their sadness, despair, and fear.

There’s a danger that their depression can lodge in our own hearts and throw us off balance – psychologically and emotionally. Learn to stay grounded.

Start with awareness

While sitting with someone who’s hurting, listen with intent. Mindfully connect. Hear their story.

Then shift and connect with yourself. Their pain, grief, and suffering are not yours to soak up like a soggy sponge.

Instead, picture yourself as a shiny colander. A strong bowl-shaped colander.

With awareness, draw out their toxic beliefs and habitual responses. Let it pour out of them.

Take in their negative energy through your belly button. Then let their traumas move through energetic holes and flow out through your back.

Leave your time together feeling whole

Of course, we stay present and connected even while picturing ourselves as colanders. But instead of soaking up the traumatic details, the story flows through us. [Consider asking if you can lead the person in a powerful prayer that shifts grief.]

Get a copy of the prayer here: Powerful Prayer Shifting Grief

The person you’re with leaves the encounter feeling heard. We leave with our light and power shining even brighter. We stay grounded.

Make sure you’re not blocking transformation by holding on

In the past 60 days, I’ve met with many people carrying anxiety triggered by burdens that weren’t their own. They’re sensitive to the pain of those they love. They want the other person to experience a shift; to change.

But their loved one couldn’t change. The one loving them held on to the pain for them. Transformation was blocked.

It isn’t our job to rescue or fix. Transformation isn’t our responsibility. Listening, releasing, and staying grounded is all we can do.
Realize that and let the pain and negativity flow through you. Stay grounded. Feel free to live your own life in awareness, freedom, and joy.

[You might also be interested in reading some practical tips on how to help someone who’s grieving 10 Ideas Sparking Love Actions]

Your response

Re-read the last section. How do you feel? Have you been a sponge or a colander?

Share your experience. Email me at


Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,


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